man, i didnt realize this was still going on and that i didnt post what i actually ended up with.
Slowtec, I understand what you're saying completely. You're pretty much similar to my situation. Long commutes and nasty roads. Sounds like NYC to me.
If you want comfort above anything and the ability to take potholes and bumps well, or just to the best of the car's ability. DONT LOWER YOUR CAR.
if you want your shock absorber to absorb the shock really well, you want it to have as much travel as possible. meaning leave your car at stock ride height so it has enough travel to absorb all the bumps as much as possible.
Also dont go with expensive sport shocks that are for a lower ride and stiffer handling through corners. unless your racing on a circuit on your way to work, thats not what you want.
I ended up going with brand new KYB shocks that are pretty much OEM replacements and same quality if not better to factory shocks. and new Honda springs. I left the car at stock ride height. and with the new suspension. Feels like driving on air...
and it absorbs bumps the best compared to any of these shock/spring/combo setups..
Granted, theres only so much it can do. this is a naturally more or less low car. with small wheels. and a comfortable yet somewhat firm suspension.
If you want comfort, and offroad utility above anything, and ability to take any nasty road thrown at you. you need to go with a car that is higher and with bigger tires like an SUV which is what theyre made for. and which is what im thinking of going with for nyc rough roads.
if you want to stick with this car. which i dont blame you, its a beautiful body, great fuel economy, comfortable interior and all... then STAY AT STOCK RIDE HEIGHT.
and get my setup, its the most comfortable you can get.
KYB STRUTS
HONDA SPRINGS
hope this helps